What's my future?

It's quite shocking to see how long since my last post was updated though. Should have update it more frequently but always fail to do so... Somehow today it just clicked in my head and I decided to venture here again and share out my feelings...

Have a thought of making my blog private now. Should I? Well, guess not much of you will visit here so I think no point asking here. Well, guess I will private it soon, in a few weeks time perhaps?

Back to the topic, a lot of people asked me this,
"Mun Yew, what you want to study?" 

or something like this, 

"Mun Yew, why aren't you applying scholarship to go Singapore study?" 

or even
"Why you don't want to apply JPA scholarship, for you there is no restriction at all!".
To be honest, I have totally no idea what I would like to study. I hate choosing to be honest, cause I afraid to accept what might be happening, what if I made the wrong decision? What if I made the wrong decision? I think Michael is right though, I have to learn to make decision for myself, accept what might be lying ahead, if you don't try, you will never know what you are capable of. Yet, I'm still afraid...

Having failed my interview for NTU scholarship, to be honest I didn't feel sad or disappointed though, the thought of going study abroad never comes into my mind at all no matter how excellent my results are. Teachers all suggest me to go study oversea, Singapore perhaps, so that I received a better education. Yi Jun, for instance, calling me stupid or crazy for not agreeing to take up JPA to study overseas since I'm a bursary student, which means I will get JPA once my CGPA exceeds or maintain at 3.5.... 

So, what am I going to do? I have no idea. Having interview in USM recently still can't help me to solve my question. What am I going to do with my life? I have no idea. Perhaps I would just study whatever offer they gave to me. After all my aim is to just get a degree to work. 

Recently typically being one useless person in home. Doing nothing, contribute nothing, earn nothing at home. You can call me 廢柴 actually. Planned to resume working in April but failed to do so cause lazy to search for a work and need to buy uniform in case I worked, so until now I still haven't find myself a work. Should have find work next month? Seriously I need to earn some money though... Perhaps I shouldn't quit my work so soon, at least work for one more month? Perhaps? I have no idea. I dun like the working environment there, so unhealthy, and I'm really tired of working there, selling clothes like a puppets and forced to serve customers, haish..... but what else can I do? Office work definitely won't hire me now cause I have like 2 months to work only. Let's see how...

Somehow I realise, I prefer sharing my things out like in a blog rather than telling in person. Even to her, I didn't tell as much as I would like now. I hate confessing to people how I feel at the moment, it feels weird though. I hate sharing my privacy or announcing the whole world I have this have that or how I really feel. I feel more secure like sharing in a blog. Well, not much people know I have a blog, not until that time my IT teacher forces us to give blog link for our project and now even I change my blog link, those people who follow me would know. So I guess it's better to change my blog link? hmm~~~

Have so much to share but dunno what to share more. Perhaps I should update this everyday so that I have more things to do... 

~munyew~