Temporary OKU

Get to experience on becoming an OKU now. Haha.. At least I'm better than those who take Ice Bucket Challenge? Some of them just accept it for the sake of accept, challenge it for the sake of challenge, and just merely record the video to get attention. Purpose of it was to raise awareness and let you experience the feeling of becoming one of them, yet some just take it for fun and was like proud of themselves when they pour over themselves for dunno how many buckets of ice water, wasting water and wasting ice....

Back to the topic, just one day, dunno why, when I woke up, I just feel my left ear was so so pain, thought I'm a bad dream again and I moved too vigorously with the thought of the pain will ease away, but turned up it persist for about two days. Went for doctor for checkup and he claimed just some earwax blocking... Ended up I need to apply eardrop to my ear and that geli-ness when those ear drop is put into my ears... >_<

So temporary I can be said as a temporary OKU now, as I cant really hear much from my left ear...  So bear with me if I can't listen you clearly and repeated asking you to say again what you said... XD

So much to pack yet so lazy to pack... Just bring the whole house go :3

~munyew~

Chatting

Chatting, can bring alot of meanings... 

Some people chat for some important agenda, like preparing for an event, having a committee together to work on something, to deliver their knowledge so that they understand the content they are trying to instill inside a person...

Some people chat for getting themselves happy, satisfied, like when they are boring and nothing to do, they will always look for their "prey" and start bothering them until an extend that they are satisfied the enjoyment they have gained...

Some people chat to make people laugh, for instance they always have some funny things to share and feel that they must bring this happiness to others, or when they find people disappoint about something, they will start to perform their talent to make them happy again...

Some people chat for the purpose of chatting, for no reason, cause they feel like chatting is an important part in their lives. Chatting for the purpose of chatting, sounds ridiculous but it's true, cause they can find no thing to do other than chatting...

Everybody has their definition of chatting, so what's your definition of that?

~munyew~

Diary

No one likes keeping a diary when they are young, cause it was so troublesome and sometimes it distracted us from playing some of our favourite games at the moment...

I regretted that thinking at the moment now, somehow a person's memory is limited, and the sad case is that the brain only remembers incident that create the most impact in your life, normally a sad memory instead of a happy memory... Thinking back now, the memory of me having fun with all my friends in Singapore during primary school trip during the last year in primary school had faded away... Yet, the memory of me doing an offense that I still can't forgive myself still lingering in my head, until now, I still blame myself, why had I done that offense? Why did I do such a foolish thing... This can't be forgiven....

Diary, is actually a good habit, sometimes when you looked back at the things you have done, you might be laughing at your action, why had you done such a thing, and in the end it reminds of you, you have to be a better person than the one inside the diary... Maybe sometimes when you think about the things you did before, you will even have another perception about it, you might realise that you might be wrong at the time...

人的記憶其實真的很渺小，很多事情，已經想不起來了。如今，我明白為何那些爸爸們，為何會答應參加“爸爸去哪兒”，因為，有些記憶，當你慢慢長大時，會慢慢地消失，在那時的感動，那時的興奮，那時的幸福，都已回憶不起來了。然而，在那模糊的記憶中，你唯一能記起的是，你曾經在那兒，而記不起當時做了些什麼。。。

日記，是唯一，能讓你找回那份記憶，找回那份感動，找回那份真情。。。

~munyew~

Back to here

Back to the beginning, I have been wanted to update my blog for some time yet everytime I clicked on the "New Post" button, I can't find a suitable title to post about or even without a title, I can't seem to type the first word out. Day after day, month after month, yet still nothing has been updated....

Guess now I have too much to share here now, somehow sometimes I can't post something like I wish in some social media, sometimes it will have some impact... the platform that I used to have to express my feelings were not there anymore, so I have to wander back here, back to something I used to have and someone would not pay notice at all...

Finally I made my decision, to wander away to Penang to continue my studies there. A lot of people asked me, with your results, you deserved better than this, or you should be going overseas to study, get a scholarship and just study there, everything the JPA will take care of it. Well, I guess I see things alot different than others... It's always a challenge to study abroad, and this will be the challenge I will not take... You can say me coward or anything, but I just don't have the "urge" to tell me, "hey Mun Yew, go study abroad, your future lies there..." Upon getting offers from USM, I almost came to a decision to study in Sunway for the course Acturial Science, yet somehow alot of unnecessary thinking crossed over my mind, and somehow one day this decision comes to my mind, "Let's go Penang study, since studying abroad is so much a challenge, why don't study away from KL, take this challenge, learn to live by yourself for some time.. well, just 3 years though... " and so well, going study in USM becomes my destination....

Lately, I really rarely express my true feelings to someone, in fact everyone... Everyone thinks matters in their very own way, and sometimes they just could not understand how the way I'm thinking sometimes, and I accept that. So, often I just keep myself silence. Yes, I like to make jokes, I like to talk craps sometimes, yet to everyone, I'm just someone who is just that. Alot of struggles inside me they can't see, alot of loneliness inside me they can't feel and alot of disappointment inside me they can't sense... Often, I'm the one who talks one through their problems, sharing some thoughts with the situation they are facing and someone who can be there anytime for any outing...

Had a fun time with my classmates and the extra one Xian Ming during our class trip to Sunway Lagoon. It has been a long time since I'm there and it looked so different now. Nevertheless, we still having a great time inside there. The game that had leave an impression to me is that Scream Park. I had to admit sometime it does scare me but still not that scary yet.. I remembered the two Malay girls in front of us are just so scared they just won't move at some point, and we have to push her ahead... The next day we went steamboat at Matthew's house and probably it might be the last time for this year for a bunch of us gather together and talking some stuffs together. I won't forget all the fun while having with them during the pre-u period. I'm still shocked to find out I was still known as the "monitor" of the class... Really appreciate that...

People come and go, you will never know which people you will meet in the next second. Cherish the moment you while you can with the people you like, don't wait until the very last second, when things could not turn around anymore, only you start to regret for it... In some occasion, time wait people, but most occasion, time does not wait for you...

~munyew~

Censored topic?

Today afternoon was like a... "wow" topic to be discussed of. Basically the whole afternoon was talking about like adult topic.

I knew some of them are true in some ways and quite shocked to realise some truth too. It wasn't nice to share about it here but yet some realities are inevitable... Good or bad? Only the person himself/herself know that.

~munyew~

Privacy

Somehow feel that the last privacy of this will be discovered soon...

I dun like the idea of privating it, guess now I want to do it le...

~munyew~

What's my future?

It's quite shocking to see how long since my last post was updated though. Should have update it more frequently but always fail to do so... Somehow today it just clicked in my head and I decided to venture here again and share out my feelings...

Have a thought of making my blog private now. Should I? Well, guess not much of you will visit here so I think no point asking here. Well, guess I will private it soon, in a few weeks time perhaps?

Back to the topic, a lot of people asked me this,
"Mun Yew, what you want to study?" 

or something like this, 

"Mun Yew, why aren't you applying scholarship to go Singapore study?" 

or even
"Why you don't want to apply JPA scholarship, for you there is no restriction at all!".
To be honest, I have totally no idea what I would like to study. I hate choosing to be honest, cause I afraid to accept what might be happening, what if I made the wrong decision? What if I made the wrong decision? I think Michael is right though, I have to learn to make decision for myself, accept what might be lying ahead, if you don't try, you will never know what you are capable of. Yet, I'm still afraid...

Having failed my interview for NTU scholarship, to be honest I didn't feel sad or disappointed though, the thought of going study abroad never comes into my mind at all no matter how excellent my results are. Teachers all suggest me to go study oversea, Singapore perhaps, so that I received a better education. Yi Jun, for instance, calling me stupid or crazy for not agreeing to take up JPA to study overseas since I'm a bursary student, which means I will get JPA once my CGPA exceeds or maintain at 3.5.... 

So, what am I going to do? I have no idea. Having interview in USM recently still can't help me to solve my question. What am I going to do with my life? I have no idea. Perhaps I would just study whatever offer they gave to me. After all my aim is to just get a degree to work. 

Recently typically being one useless person in home. Doing nothing, contribute nothing, earn nothing at home. You can call me 廢柴 actually. Planned to resume working in April but failed to do so cause lazy to search for a work and need to buy uniform in case I worked, so until now I still haven't find myself a work. Should have find work next month? Seriously I need to earn some money though... Perhaps I shouldn't quit my work so soon, at least work for one more month? Perhaps? I have no idea. I dun like the working environment there, so unhealthy, and I'm really tired of working there, selling clothes like a puppets and forced to serve customers, haish..... but what else can I do? Office work definitely won't hire me now cause I have like 2 months to work only. Let's see how...

Somehow I realise, I prefer sharing my things out like in a blog rather than telling in person. Even to her, I didn't tell as much as I would like now. I hate confessing to people how I feel at the moment, it feels weird though. I hate sharing my privacy or announcing the whole world I have this have that or how I really feel. I feel more secure like sharing in a blog. Well, not much people know I have a blog, not until that time my IT teacher forces us to give blog link for our project and now even I change my blog link, those people who follow me would know. So I guess it's better to change my blog link? hmm~~~

Have so much to share but dunno what to share more. Perhaps I should update this everyday so that I have more things to do... 

~munyew~